To Love You Harder
by mid-sweettalk
Summary: Alex Russo doesn't do camps. But, there's one girl that might just make Camp Rock worth the stay. Rated for a lil bit of language and stuff, nothing too serious. oneshot, AU, f/f Mitchie/Alex, don't like, don't read


**I've been working on this for the past week. I'm like. Nervous and excited about posting it. Cuz there's one girl in particular who I know is reading this, and her opinion matters most to me. Cuz this is for her. **

**This started off as a fic, then turned into more of a diary than anything else. So I had to tweak it some to make it more fic-y ^^' oh well. I hope y'all like it. Read and review, and I will love you forever (but not more than her, just deal with it). **

**I hope _you _like it, bay. I love you.**

* * *

><p>Your lips burn against hers as they meet for the first time. You'd had a feeling that it would be hard to resist her, but once you opened the front door, you knew that you were <em>way<em> off.

It's nearly impossible.

When you stepped out of your mother's car and onto Camp Rock grounds, you had to remind yourself that this was a "good experience" that "looked great on college applications".

But the fact still remained: Alex Russo didn't-_doesn't_-do _camps_.

But then you _had _to go and actually _meet_ some of the people there-some pretty awesome people, like Caitlyn, and Nate and his brothers (mostly Nate, though). And you just _had _to join in when they all started singing and dancing and making beats.

So now, as you're unpacking your things in the cabin you share with three girls unknown, you're starting to think that maybe camp-or at least, Camp Rock-isn't so bad, after all.

You first see her at dinner that night, after you'd finished unpacking-with magic, of course-and found out that Caitlyn is one of your roommates.

You also found out that Caitlyn is gay, and now you feel even more at home here.

You'd spent your free time earlier out by the lake, so now, as you walk through the line to get your dinner, your hair curls in slight waves from the moisture in the air. As you stand there with your tray, scoping out a place to sit, Caitlyn-ever the social butterfly-calls you over to her table.

Nate is also there, along with two girls you haven't met yet. As you take your seat, Caitlyn begins the introductions.

"Hey, Alex, so this is Tess," she points to the blonde sitting on her left, between herself and Nate, "and this is Mitchie," she gestures to the girl on her right, with black hair that falls around her shoulders. You smile at each of them. Tess gives you more of a grimace than actual smile, but Mitchie gives you this huge, open, face-eating grin that immediately lets you know that you want to be friends with this girl.

As you sit down on the side across from the four of them, Caitlyn, spark in her eyes, leans towards you to whisper loudly, "Don't mind Tess; she just doesn't tolerate newcomers much."

None of you can keep from smiling as Tess shoots a glare Caitlyn's way. Caitlyn leans back, and you take notice of how she and Mitchie lean against each other. It flashes in your mind the look Caitlyn had given Mitchie when she introduced her, and you wonder just how far back their history goes.

"So, Alex," Nate starts, "how much of the grounds have you seen so far?"

And that's how it begins. As dinner goes on, you listen to the way Mitchie and Caitlyn banter back and forth, without any hesitation on either of their parts. You're almost amazed at how hilarious they are, especially together-how they can go from teasing, to name-calling, to flirting, to cursing each other out. All in the name of fun, of course.

You find yourself feeling incredibly jealous.

Of what, exactly, you're not sure. But, you know that you wish you could jump into their conversation without seeming like…. You don't even know what. But you just have a feeling you'd be out of place when it comes to these two.

You do manage to get a few words in with Mitchie separately though, when Caitlyn is busy arguing with Nate and/or Tess over something different.

You can't help but notice how easy it is to fall into conversation with this girl.

After a while of sitting around, eating and talking, you've found out that this is their third year here together, but Caitlyn and Tess have been here longer; that Caitlyn dances and mixes beats; Nate is a counselor; and both Mitchie and Tess are co-counselors in their vocal majors. As each minute passes, each topic gives way to another, you feel a bond growing with each of them, even standoffish Tess. And especially with Mitchie.

Which kind of surprises you, because you'd expected to have the strongest bond with Caitlyn since you'd met her earlier. But as her confidence turns more into bragging, and Nate and Mitchie brag also about her many accomplishments, all you end up feeling towards Caitlyn by the time dinner is over, is admiration.

And of course, that jealousy that still hasn't gone away.

After telling you that Mitchie and Tess are your other roomies, Caitlyn excuses herself, Tess, and Nate to go prepare for the Opening Jam.

Caitlyn leaves Mitchie with a kiss on top of her head. The jealousy flares.

"So," Mitchie says once it's just the two of you, "how 'bout I show you around a bit, since all you've seen is the lake so far?"

And that is what leads to you and Mitchie walking around the grounds, laughing and talking about anything and everything. And flirting. You notice that as the sky gets darker and Mitchie's eyes get heavier, her jokes turn more sexual, her touches more lingering.

And you're enjoying it. God, are you enjoying it.

"So, Cait tells me you're gay?" Mitchie asks with a spark in her sleepy eyes and a wink in your direction. Your heart-unwillingly-flutters, and you're starting to see where all that jealousy came from earlier.

"Yes, ma'am," you say with a smirk in your voice.

"Cool, so am I," Mitchie says.

It's the way she says it that makes you think she's up to something.

When you wake up the next day, it's not peacefully. It's to Mitchie jumping and landing on you with a leg on either side of your body.

You don't know whether this is a good thing or a bad one.

"Um…?" You look up at the beaming girl sitting on top of you in her pajama shorts and tank top, her hair falling in her face as she looks down at you. You glance around and realize you're alone.

"I'm sorry," she says, relaxing on top of you. "I needed to do something to wake me up. I'm not a morning person." She leans down to whisper in your ear, making you seize up and hold your breath so you don't end up doing something embarrassing.

Like panting in her ear.

Or flipping her over and having your wicked way with her.

"Plus, I figured you wouldn't mind this little wake-up call." She pecks you on the cheek and hops off of you, walking over to the bathroom. As you lay there, trying to calm your racing heart, she calls over her shoulder, "I know your hot-spot now, honey. Don't think I won't use it."

You toss your head back and groan as she shuts the bathroom door, laughing.

Your minor course is vocal; your major is drums. When you enter your vocal class, the first person you see is Mitchie, sitting up front between Tess and an empty seat. You rush over when Mitchie waves to you.

"This seat taken?" you say with a smile.

Mitchie shakes her head. "Not at all, baby doll."

She smiles at her rhyme while you bite your lip at the nickname and sit down, grinning when Mitchie nudges you with her elbow. Then it's time to sing.

Her voice.

You could listen to it for hours.

Caitlyn leaves dinner early again to help some of the dancers prepare for the night's Jam. Which means it's you, Mitchie, Nate, Tess, and a few stray others still at the table.

Which kind of bums you, because you'd wanted some more alone time with Mitchie.

But then.

"Hey, Lex, you wanna go for a walk around the lake?"

Score.

You nod, and the two of you walk out together.

"So, Alex, you got a girlfriend?" Mitchie asks when there's a lull in your conversation.

You shake your head and turn to look ahead of you. Your smirk becomes a little more forced. "Nope. Alex Russo is forever alone, it seems like. How about you?"

Mitchie looks concernedly at you for a second, but doesn't question your response. "Well," she says, "there is this one girl I _really _like. Like, borderline-love. But she lives _so far away_."

You don't _want _to get your hopes up when she says that. Because even though, yes, the two of you practically live on opposite sides of the country, Mitchie's most likely not talking about _you_.

"Who is she?" you ask.

In fact, she's probably talking about-

"It's Caitlyn. I thought it was obvious."

Yup.

Your mood goes to shit, but you try not to show it. "Yeah, well, I _thought _so, but I don't like to guess and be wrong, y'know?" She nudges you playfully with her elbow as the two of you keep walking. "So, does she not like you back, or…?"

Mitchie sighs. "No, she knows I like her, and she likes me back. But she doesn't _do _long-distance. So, if we started something during camp, she'd break up with me when summer ended." Her brow furrows as she looks down at the ground in front of her. "Sometimes I wonder if it'd be worth it, you know? To have _one _summer with her, even if it could never last." She shakes her head. "I'm waiting for her, though. Like, not dating anyone else. Even if she won't wait for me."

This is what you say: "If she really cares for you like she says, she'll come around eventually. Don't worry, hun."

This is what you _want _to say: "Don't wait forever for her, especially since I'm right here."

Walks around the lake become Mitchie's and your _thing_. It becomes tradition after a couple of more days.

You feel special that you have something with Mitchie that Caitlyn can't take away.

A week passes by quickly. You've managed to distract yourself so much that you don't use magic once. Surprising, right? But it's a week filled with flirting (between Mitchie and Caitlyn), jealousy (from you, towards Caitlyn), sadness (when you're alone with your thoughts and realize you'll never measure up to _her_), and more flirting (between you and Mitchie, which brings you up momentarily before reality comes crashing back down on you). So you figure it's understandable.

You can't deny it, though: you're _falling _for Mitchie Torres.

Mitchie is her usual happy, tired self as you all enter the café for a late dinner-today's Jam took longer than expected, and it's already dark outside-so you don't realize that she hasn't flirted with you once all day.

That is, until Caitlyn comes to the table with some of the dancers in tow.

You don't mind the dancers sitting at what's become "your" table, meaning the four of you. Some of them are pretty awesome, actually.

"So, guys," Caitlyn says as she takes her seat next to Mitchie, "I have news." the dancers take seats as well, and you all give her your attention. Her smile is beaming. "I have a girlfriend, now," she says, and you all start asking questions.

But in the back of your mind is the thought, "Mitchie must feel horrible."

When you look at Mitchie to check she's okay, though, she's smiling down at her lap and biting her lip.

Dread starts to grow in your stomach.

"Who is it?" one of the girls asks.

_Please_, you think, _please don't be her. Please don't be_-

"Mitchie," Caitlyn says as she looks to her right at the grinning girl. Mitchie's teeth release her bottom lip and her full smile shines.

The dancers (mainly the girls) and Tess make a big fuss, cheering Finally's and I-Knew-It's to the new couple.

_You _feel like crying. You _want _to cry, but you don't.

Instead you pull your cell phone out of your pocket and flip it over and over in your hands. Doing something with your hands always calms you down.

But you put on a smile and act happy anyway. Because you know that this is what Mitchie wants: Caitlyn. And it's _Mitchie_. You only want her to be happy.

This becomes your mantra.

Once everything calms down, and everyone goes back to their dinner, Mitchie finally takes notice of you. "Babe, what's wrong?"

You try to keep your eyes from going wide and say the usual avoidance-response, "What? Nothings wrong, babe, I'm fine."

Mitchie looks skeptical, and starts messing with her hands as she speaks cautiously, "You sure? 'Cause… you were fine a while ago, and then Cait announced us, and your mood just. Dropped." _No, really? _you think blandly.

"Honey, why would I be upset about that? I knew about you two, remember? It's not you, I promise."

The look in Mitchie's eyes doesn't change. "Because we were flirting. And now Cait…. What has you so upset, then?"

You sigh as your mind races to come up with another excuse. You find yourself holding up the phone in your hands. "It's just. Harper, my friend from back home. I really like her, but she's straight, and she keeps texting me about her boyfriend, Zeke, and I just… I dunno."

Mitchie's gaze turns sympathetic, and you realize you're safe, because she _bought _it. "I'm sorry, honey. If you ever want to rant about it, I'm here, okay?"

You manage a small smile. "Thanks, babe. Congratulations, by the way, I know you're happy."

Mitchie's smile comes back full-force. And you feel your heart break even more.

You try to cope with the fact that you'll never be put before Caitlyn.

You fail.

So instead, you constantly think: I want her to be happy. Caitlyn makes Mitchie happy.

It makes you feel only a little bit better. But the thought that Mitchie will never be yours always haunts you.

And no matter how dark your thoughts are, you can never show any hostility towards Caitlyn. But you figure that's a good thing, since you'd probably lose Mitchie completely if you were rude (and/or violent) to her girlfriend.

The flirting stops. You watch your words constantly, not wanting to say something too flirty to cause her to bring up how she "thought you'd understand" that the flirting had to stop, which would cause complete awkwardness.

That's a feeling you haven't experienced with Mitchie yet, and you don't ever want to.

You and Mitchie are closer than ever, despite all this.

Most likely because she doesn't know you like her.

You think sometimes though, that she _does _know, and just doesn't mention it because she doesn't want that awkwardness either. Because sometimes when she talks about Caitlyn, it's almost… apologetic.

You don't know if it would hurt more if she knew about your feelings for her.

Mitchie says she loves you. Like, all the time. That's just how Mitchie is. And you can never keep the thought out of your mind that even though she loves you, you'll always love her harder.

Yes, harder.

Because sometimes wanting her physically _hurts_.

Your walks with Mitchie become sacred to you.

You discover, as Mitchie's relationship with Caitlyn goes on, that you're the one (maybe not the _only_ one, who knows, but its good enough for you) Mitchie comes to talk to when she's upset about things Caitlyn-related.

While you're dreaming about being with Mitchie, Mitchie is having nightmares about Caitlyn leaving her.

Mitchie explains to you the things that go on in her head, the thoughts she thinks sometimes-some of these worry you a little, but you don't want to seem intruding.

You reassure Mitchie each time she tells you a fear she has, a "what if she…?".

You're always careful with your words. You make sure to give your honest opinion in the gentlest way possible.

Because this is Mitchie, and you'll be damned if it's _you_ that hurts her in any way.

You always know if Mitchie is upset when you have your walks, because she immediately links her arm through yours and rests her head on your shoulder (as best she can, anyway; she's a good few inches shorter than you). You put your thumbs in your pockets and put your head on top of hers, always. Thankfully, she's not upset about something _every _time.

But tonight, she is.

You never ask her what's wrong. You wait until she's ready to speak.

It takes longer than usual before she does.

"Caitlyn said we should still be open to dating other people," she says. Her voice is so soft and broken, all you want to do is hold her.

But you can't.

She continues, "She says it's 'cause we don't know what's gonna happen. You know, when summer ends. I dunno."

This is the first time you don't know what to say besides "it'll be alright" and "don't worry" and "I'm here".

You don't say the last one out loud.

Ever.

"Caitlyn, she… she cares about you, Mitch, so much." You're taking your time with your words; you don't want to screw up. "I think maybe she just doesn't want you to end up being hurt because of her, you know? She may be doing it in the wrong way, but she's just trying to protect you, probably."

Mitchie sighs and doesn't say anything for a moment, which starts to make you think you said something wrong.

"I know," she says, just as softly as before, "I know. I just, I dunno, wish she maybe wouldn't worry about me so much, if _this _is what that means."

You don't say anything this time, just turn your head to kiss the top of hers gently. The rest of your walk is spent in silence.

Sometimes, when you're upset about Mitchie, you talk to Nate instead of Harper. Because Harper, though you love her, isn't such a good listener when it comes to sad stuff.

And Nate is awesome. You can talk to him without spilling Mitchie's secrets, and he doesn't push you so hard that you say them accidentally. He's excited for you when something good happens, and sympathetic when it's not so good.

You get to know him a little better, too. And then you've formed your own special bond.

You're sitting with Mitchie on the dock by the lake a few days later, a slight breeze pushing your hair back. Your legs are hanging over the water, and you're both leaning back on your elbows, hands mere centimeters apart.

This drives you crazy.

"I told Caitlyn what's been going on in my head," Mitchie says, "and some other stuff. About her. You know."

You nod your head in encouragement and understanding, and even though you both are looking straight ahead, you know she sees.

"She said maybe I need to take a break from her. And I agreed."

You hear her voice crack and look over at her, see the tears silently falling down her cheeks. You feel more heartbreak at this than joy at the face she and Caitlyn aren't together anymore.

As you sit up, slide closer, and put your arm around her shoulders, you realize you don't feel any joy from this at all. Your Mitchie is hurt. It would be sick on so many levels if you were any kind of happy about this.

She puts her arms around your waist and leans into your shoulder. You let her cry, and stroke her hair the whole time.

You hate this, and you feel a new contempt for Caitlyn.

You wish you could fix it.

You do what you can to calm her down, and she goes to take a nap. "Try to sleep it off," she says. You let her.

Things aren't awkward between you two, but you can certainly feel the tension at your table in the café.

A couple days later, Mitchie's flirting starts up again.

This brings you so very, _very _up.

Then Caitlyn and Mitchie start talking again. They're not _together_, but they're friends, and you're glad. You have to be.

For Mitchie.

It's the last week of camp, and nobody is ready to leave.

You and Mitchie have been taking your walks hand-in-hand lately. This is the only time you walk without your thumbs in your pockets.

Today you're just playing 20 questions, just to cover anything you two _haven't_ talked about yet, and as time goes on, Mitchie (as usual) gets increasingly more flirty.

"Um… birthday?" you ask.

"July fourteenth. You?"

"November 27."

"Nice. How about… favorite pet name?"

You're so glad you're taller than her, and that she's watching where she steps. You feel the blush attack your face. "Um… probably 'baby girl'. Or 'baby'. Depends. If I'm single, then 'baby girl'. But I love it when my girlfriend calls me 'baby'."

Mitchie hums, comes close, so that your shoulders are pressed together. "What about 'sweetie'?"

You shrug the shoulder she isn't leaning on and smile a bit. "I like it. It's cute." You relax a little and feel the cool summer breeze cooling your face.

"Princess?"

You bark out a laugh, thinking of the conversation the two of you had the other day about stuck-up names people give their children. "Princess" was one of them.

But Mitchie just looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

You stop laughing. "Oh, you were serious?"

"Well, yeah," Mitchie says, still looking up at you. "What, you don't like it?"

You smile a little and shake your head. "I thought we discussed this already."

"Yeah, well. Pet names are different. Princess is one of those that can be sweet _and _sexy, you know?"

You smile again. "I don't, but okay, babe."

Mitchie stops, so you do, too. "No, it's like," she turns so she's half-in front of you, "it can be like," she pecks you on the cheek. "Hey, princess," she says softly and sweetly.

You raise an eyebrow and try to hold back your smirk.

"Or," Mitchie continues, "It could be like _this_."

She lets go of your hand and brings her arms up to settle on your waist. You feel her fingers stroking your sides lightly. She stands on her tip toes and brings her lips to your ear, pressing flush against you and sliding her hands into your back pockets. She whispers lowly into your ear, her breath ghosting over your skin, "Hey, princess."

Her lips brush against your ear just slightly, sending a jolt of electricity down your spine. When she tugs on your earlobe with her teeth, your hands tighten on her hips (when did you put them there?) and your eyes flutter closed. She pulls back until her feet are flat on the ground and looks up at you ever-so-innocently, like she _didn't _just take advantage of your hot-spot. Again.

You take in a shaky breath and push your hair back out of your face. You open your eyes, then narrow them at her. "You're such a fucking tease, you know that?"

Mitchie giggles and says, "Yeah, but, I'm _your _tease."

She takes your hand and resumes walking.

Your mind is in the gutter for the rest of your walk.

Of course, Camp Rock ends eventually. You leave with about twenty new numbers, but only two that really matter.

There's Nate, who has been awesome through all your ups and downs with Mitchie.

And there's no need to say who the second number belongs to.

When you get back home, your parents hug you, Harper nearly kills you with her screaming and squeezing and I-missed-you's, Max is nowhere to be found-as usual-and Justin….

Justin says you've changed. How he can tell this as soon as you walk through the door, you have no idea, but hell, he's your brother, so you figure it counts for something.

Your parents start giving you weird looks after a couple hours, when they realize you haven't pulled any pranks or tricks on anyone since you've gotten back.

You don't answer them when they ask who you keep texting every two minutes.

Mitchie constantly says she misses you. And loves you. This makes you happy enough to ignore the fact that there's a _huge_ distance between the two of you now.

As the days go on, though, you feel the distance more and more. Until eventually, the flirting goes even farther than before.

You can't remember exactly _what_ all was said. But you know that Mitchie left you with a text saying, "So now that you know I'm totally into you, I must go take a nap. Love you," and then a cute little heart.

You don't want _your _heart to ever stop racing from this.

Alex Russo is known at Tribeca Prep as a genius when it comes to getting away with things. This includes texting in class. You haven't gotten caught in all the years you've had a cell phone.

You text Mitchie throughout the day. Literally, from when you wake up, to when you go to sleep.

You love it.

You talk about anything and everything that pops into either of your heads. You like it when she gets (or pretends to be? you can't ever tell) jealous, so you start complaining about Brittany, this girl in your chemistry class who, ever since you came out last year, has been all over you. Yes, for a year straight.

"Mitch, she keeps *bothering* me," you text her, adding a sad face to the end of the message.

"Just tell her you have someone, sweetie," is her reply.

"I already told her I'm single, though."

There's a slightly longer wait than usual for Mitchie's next reply, which only says, "Well. Yeah. But." Your heart starts racing.

"Something wrong, babe?"

You go reeling at her reply.

"No, nothing's wrong, babe. It's just. I know that technically you're single. But. You're kinda sorta not."

You feel your eyes go wide and a smile as big as Mitchie's own threatening to attack your face, but you try not to get your hopes up _too _high. 'Cause you never know.

So you take a risk.

"So… I'm your kinda sorta almost-girlfriend, is what you're saying?" Your heart nearly stops beating, it's going so fast as you wait for her reply.

"Yes. Kindasortaalmost. Unless you don't want to, because I know that's complicated…" she goes on rambling a bit, which you think is just adorable.

"Of course I want to!" you add a smile that's not nearly as big as your own to the message, along with a heart.

You can't stop smiling. Maybe you _do _mean as much to her as Caitlyn does, after all.

The flirting escalates.

Like, tenfold.

Four days after you become almost-girlfriends, the two of you are flirting, as usual.

You want to call her, but she doesn't have a landline, and her cell doesn't have a calling plan.

You miss her voice.

Even more, you miss having her _physically there_.

You're laying in your bed after school, texting Mitchie during your half-nap. If you tell her that you're tired, she'll make you stop texting her and go to sleep. And you would much rather text her than go into a boring slumber.

She pays you a compliment, and through your sleep-induced haze, you call her biased because she's your almost-girlfriend.

The next text from her wakes you right up.

"We need to change this. I don't want to be your almost-girlfriend. I want to be your girlfriend."

You're grinning so big, and your mind is racing so fast that all you say is how big you're grinning.

"So, is that a yes?"

"Yes, yes a million times!"

You immediately run downstairs to tell Harper.

The two of you share a lot of fantasies.

There are simple ones, like laying down with your arms around each other.

There are futuristic ones, like living in a small apartment together after you both move out on your own.

And then there are the sexy ones.

But you don't even tell _Harper _those.

You've always dreamed of waking up to see her laying next to you, of holding her close as you both fall asleep.

You wake up every morning for months, disappointed.

It's summer, and it's Saturday, and you're exhausted from the double shift your dad had you work yesterday in the Sub Station. It doesn't help that you tend to stay up until past dawn texting Mitchie every night, either.

It's just hard to say goodnight when you miss her so much it hurts sometimes.

When your thoughts get like this, it's kind of hard to get back to sleep. So you lay in bed, awake, thinking about your girlfriend. About what you would both be doing if she was there…

"I miss you." You say it out loud, in a whisper. Then you write it in a text and press SEND.

You know that she loves it when you send off texts to her while she's asleep. She likes seeing sweet messages and song quotes when she wakes up.

Okay, so, maybe she's made you a _little _soft. Whatever. Alex Russo can be in love all she wants.

You have countless ideas for sweet things to do for her. But they would all have to be in person, and almost all of them have to be done with magic, which you can't tell her about. It kills you to have to keep a secret from Mitchie, but you know that you'll tell her eventually.

There's a knock at your door, and you get up slowly to open it.

It's your dad, looking tired in his pajamas. "There's some girl who wants to talk to you. She's at the apartment door. Don't let her eat my cake from the fridge." With this, he walks back to hiss room, and you roll your eyes at his back before walking out to door on Waverly.

Your mouth drops open and your eyes go wide when you see who is standing on the other side.

"Hey, princess," Mitchie says, smiling shyly. "I missed you, too."

You don't hesitate before running into her open arms.

You do exactly what you had told her you would do when you saw each other again: you turn your head to kiss the side of her neck before kissing her cheek, then her forehead, and her nose, and resting your forehead on hers so that your lips are just _barely_ brushing.

Your lips burn as they meet Mitchie's for the first time. You'd had a steadily growing feeling that when you saw her again, she'd be even harder to resist than before. But you know now how wrong you were.

It's nearly impossible.

You kiss for the longest, right there in the doorway, only breaking apart when air becomes a necessity, and even then, your arms wind even tighter around each other as she buries her face in your neck and you press yours against her hair.

The first thing out of your mouth is, "I love you."

And you know for sure now: here, in Mitchie Torres's arms, is exactly where you're supposed to, and _want _to, be.


End file.
